The Cheating Code

We’re all cheaters and we’re all sinners; if you do not agree with me then you’re living in denial my dear. Have you ever gone with the idea of need than want? That’s greed, hence a sin. Have you ever taken a shortcut? Have you ever lied? That is cheating too. You eat more than you’re supposed to; you have made mistakes; caused pain to others; lusted for someone; couldn't keep your promises; cursed/abused someone; they’re all cheating codes so you’re a cheater. If you were having a false identity of yourself as a saint then you’re nothing but a fool. Somehow we ignore all these facts and become a little too stereotypical when it comes to the word ‘cheating’. It’s a fair share, life makes us do things; there’s nothing to be ashamed of unless you’re morally challenged. Admitting to your mistakes/faults doesn't make you weak, it makes you all the more strong; it only shows that you have the strength to go on with your life regardless your past experiences.

Now why do we cheat? Life’s not an exam or is it? Supposedly life is an exam but why would that make us wanna cheat? Well it is because of the competition around us. There’s a sense of “I've got to win” in everyone but do you actually wanna win something that results in Death? That’s the only thing you get out of life – you die; that’s the only prize. If you say “I want to become someone, I want to create something that will live forever,” and you want to create something forever using all of life’s cheating codes? That is not anything remarkable now is it? You can’t fool life. If you've maintained a life being a saint then it’s only because you haven’t got caught yet but give it some time; life leaves none.

If you actually want to become something then dare to become something life didn't make you, that’s actual win. Life gave you nothing; you were born in a poor family and there was nothing you could do about it but you decided to die rich against all the odds not using any of the cheating codes then you’re an actual winner. If your parents are divorced and it has made you bitter inside, a hollow soul and you’ve decided never to get married because of the hatred inside your heart for the opposite sex then please love more and do get married; have a blissful long life together and show the world that it can be done; that’s how you become a winner. Society doesn't accept you for being who you are; instead of being angry about it, show them the happiness of being yourself; happiness is contagious, eventually they’ll be happy too and that’s how you get to create something that will remain forever. Money, fame, luxury, extravagant life; nothing lasts forever. Your work for the sake of humanity being a human; that’s what gets you far beyond life.

Having tons of opinions and express them every now and then is not going to create anything. Cursing others or unnecessarily poking your nose where it doesn't belong; it’s the sign of your own insecurities. Minding your own business is probably the hardest thing to do and you cannot do it quite well; I guess that’s the reason why you shouldn't go for MBA; you’re not quite well in handling your own business now are you? I’m not saying to have no opinions, everyone should but do not put them on others; it should be a choice. You've seen the pain in life which has caused you suffering and only because of that you’re afraid to open up and it’s easier for you to hide them under others’ words but that’s not something you can live with forever now can you? It’s easier to be mean towards others when you’re still able but who can say; the table might just get turned and you’ll be alone without anyone by your side.

I know I always inspire you to be nothing but yourself but make sure that you become someone you can respect or else there’s no point. Life’s cheating codes are there to help you overcome your current situation but never let them take any advantage of you. There’s only one code for cheating life and that is a strong willpower. Make the best out of the worst situations that you get yourself into; become the extraordinary. Now you don’t have to listen to my words if you’re too proud, it’s against your nature to appreciate others; in that case let this one go in life’s favor.

The Global Social Problem

We have been a bit too social in the 21^st century not in the traditional way but in the advanced way. We’ve been social networking a bit too much. It’s impossible to think about life without internet or Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or WhatsApp or Vine; and the list goes on and on. I too am addicted hence I’m trying to bring about a solution on my Blog with is another social media. Before we get to the conclusion, I think first we need to figure out what the problem is; is it social networking? The answer would be ‘no’; it’s not social networking, it’s why you do it; quite simple: people have reasons; some do it to endorse their brands or for businesses’ sakes; some to promote their works and some to share their moments with friends and family and for others to share their private life with a bunch of strangers. I do not know particularly from which category you belong to but that is not any of my business.

Now-a-days it’s not anymore about the sharing; it has become showing-off. Tell me how is it sharing when you’re bothered about your own family members joining Facebook? You block them deliberately and you’re okay with a bunch of people whom you’ve never met in your life seeing all your stuffs, reading about your personal life; all your problems and about the things that make you happy. Now they have somehow become closer to you than people who’ve known you all along; why? Because of common interests? No it’s because of being equally neglected in real lives or somehow some people have succeeded to make you feel any less of yourselves. People judge you or they make your life harder by making fun of you or putting you in embarrassing situations; they don’t get you, well that’s the story ain’t it? The internet people get you; they feel what you feel; they agree with you; they make you feel special; the way no one has ever made you feel in real lives. Real life is hard; it is where you’re only praised if you have lots of money or you’re famous or you’ve got a bunch of cool friends who come from money. Real life is hard for regular people with regular lives, no fuss, nothing fancy; it’s when everyone starts judging you for being who you are, internet gives you the power to be the God. It’s a place of your own where only those you like are invited. Everything is good about the internet except it’s not true; it’s virtual and there are probably things which you believed to be true don’t even exist. I know when you get depressed seeing your cousin just bought a Ferrari and you’re still driving your Prius; is it depressing when you see your high school buddy doing great with his/her life, pulling 500K a year; you get depressed knowing your ex-best-friend got a new best-friend or one of your buddies married your high-school-sweetheart or someone you thought had no shot in life won a reality show.

Let us not do that, let us not peek in others’ lives; after all it’s not going to get us anything. The moment we close the browser tab it is real life we have to deal with. Let us forget about the expensive/luxurious part of life and focus on the small things; the less valuable things according to us; the job you’ve got, it’s small; you don’t get paid much but it pays your bills; how about your small apartment? It needs some work done, redecorate it with the money you’ve been saving for iphone 6; and what about your parents, who brought you here: spend more time with them. I’ve seen people who don’t have that good of a connection with their families; well I say, create one of your own: that way you won’t have to live with the old memories, you’ll have new ones; better ones. At the end of the day it’s this miserable life that you have to deal with so rather than spending time in Farmville, why don’t you create your own Farm; where you can play with those you choose to. It’s impossible that everyone around you is bad; rather telling a bunch of strangers that you’ll be home alone tonight, why don’t you invite your neighbor? Instead of telling everyone about your break up why don’t you just take a break, watch your favorite comedy show and laugh your heart out; you’ll feel better knowing you’re stronger than you thought you were and no you don’t need advices from people whom you’ve never met.

I’m not telling you to stop being the King/Queen of Twitter/Facebook/Instagram; just decide not to play anymore with those who are ready to put everything out there. Inspire them with something new, not the old you who is all about life problems and cursing words; go for a walk or travel or maybe you need a vacation or you can watch movies or play some Angry-Birds or read a book or maybe write one or Blogging can be an option too; how about some music or a play; I know what you need exactly: a Life that is your own which is real and most importantly Beautiful.

Let's Not Be Yourself Today

How are you today? No, not fine, not okay; how are you? Ask yourself that question once in a while. If you’re happy then I've got nothing for you and kudos for figuring out this game; we envy you for that. If you find yourself in a miserable position as I am in then I've got a little something that might motivate you.

I often meet people who are not quite happy with their lives; I ask “What makes you so unhappy? Probably the fact; you don’t have enough” Now how much is actually enough? There’s a 0% guarantee that you’ll get exactly what you want in life and exactly when you want it. Now 0 is a good number, it’s big and round, kind of reflects your persona, you think? You’re right, 0 is something that has no value being alone but if you put it beside other numbers; it becomes the conqueror. So what did you learn from it? You alone cannot do anything, no matter how independent you feel about yourself or no matter how many times you say “I don’t care” because deep down you care, you have to care. You cannot live this life being a 0; you have to find a number who is ready to be beside you. I see people often abusing others; it’s a nice trick to hide one’s insecurities but with this method you can only hide it but cannot make it go away. Your insecurities will stay with you forever unless you learn to face them. Not everyone is perfect and it is only human not to be perfect, so do not run after something that is imaginary and practically not possible instead try to build something that will assure you a ‘meaning’ of your wasted time on Earth. Why don’t you like people? Because they’re opinionated; they have a poor view towards you; they certainly do not agree with your choices; they judge you, if this is the case then you need to ask yourself “Am I ever going to find someone who will never have an opinion?” The answer must be a no, everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion and if you find someone who has none then that kind of person will fall for anything and it’ll probably make him/her spineless, do you want to be with someone like that? It’s their opinion towards you that they don’t like you but you need to know that it’s also your opinion towards them for not liking you. You think they’re bad; they've got nothing on you and you can spend the rest of your life abusing them rather avoiding them. How does that make any difference? They won’t stop judging and you won’t stop judging them for judging you so this will go on and on. No one is going to win. What if you just avoid them? Because it is the trick; they won’t let you be who you are then why paying attention to what they want you to be? Now if you decide to fight back you’ll only waste your precious time and energy, they’re big in numbers; you cannot possibly think that putting your own insecurities on others and disrespecting them and abusing them will get you anything good or will make your life better; that is never going to happen.

Every once in a while talk to yourself about how you feel; there are bitter people around but if you keep bitterness in your heart for them, then it’s only you who is suffering. Instead stop paying attention to the things that don’t matter. Change is the only constant and there will be change in your life too. If you often wonder why nobody likes you well then ask yourself “Do I even like myself?” You have a bitter heart, you've made it yourself and now you wonder? Let’s try being the stronger one here now shall we?

A small example of how it should be: as a Writer if I decide to write a story about a poor female protagonist who struggles through life and finally achieves something; and I go to the publishers’ office who are well known to publish cheesy love stories, I certainly will get a reply like “What do you know the struggling life? You don’t look like the kind who had to struggle to get anything in life. You’re a 20 year old, talking about life; no one will read this because it’s hard to believe. This will not sell.” What do I do after that? Do I blame the publishers for stating the truth? It’s not their fault that they think that way; it’s not their fault that a vast number of people like cheesy love stories over something like I've written. I’ll go find someone who will believe in me; who will know that there are young writers who can tell stories; isn't that the whole point of publishing? A good story can win hearts; probably it won’t sell a lot but those who will read it will experience something different.

It’s not their fault that they’re like that; it’s not your fault that they don’t like you. It’s a constant cycle in the society which has caused this. So blaming others won’t get you anything and blaming yourself? Definitely not; instead why don’t you try being positive about yourself rather being negative about others? Why don’t you find the ones who will like your beautifully written stories rather than abusing those who like cheesy love stories?

Kids are alright, are they?

It might seem a bit strange to take advice from a 20 year old about parenting or kids; well trust me it’s strange for myself as well but I couldn't help myself but write this. You might have skipped out on a very important fact and that is; I might be young to talk about kids but I personally have experienced the problems while being a kid so I preferably know better than the parents about exactly how they feel.

I’m going to keep it simple and it’s oriented towards Indian cultural beliefs starting with ‘arrange marriage’, along with its consequences and later I will be discussing about its ultimatum.

In Indian culture, people often get married in their early 20’s ‘cause helplessly they have no other choice and that’s what their parents think is the best for them; now some might say, it used to happen, now it doesn't anymore. I’m going to have to say: well I used to think that too but from what I've been seeing these days, I’m pretty sure that the old trend is back. India is not safe for women; now that has been proven way too many times so I’m not willing to have any argument on that. So the parents are marrying off their daughters in a very tender age now-a-days in order to keep them safe. Result; immaturity in the relationship causes mental breakdowns, extra-marital-affairs, fights with the spouse and ultimately divorce and sometimes if both are unlucky enough then unwanted pregnancy. In this whole chaos the kid suffers the most.

Now what do a couple of 25 years old (More or less) know about parenting? I know how the kid is going to feel after growing up ‘cause I've been there, my parents got married in their mid-20’s and I was conceived within 2 years of their marriage; they knew nothing about parenting, didn't even have the intention to learn. I grew up while my parents stayed separated and whenever they used to meet each other, they used to fight over silly things.

According to the Indian conventional method of parenting it is believed that we are here to take care of our parents; I say if that’s the case then why don’t they hire someone to do that for them? Why wasting someone’s entire life? The parents, they have big hopes for their children: if anyhow they fail to satisfy them then he/she becomes the subject to disappointment. So basically they create a servant for a lifetime that has to do according to them in the name of ‘reproduction’. That might sound stereotypical, however I agree, exception is always there; not all parents are like that. Actually sometimes in parenting the kid gets in the middle of a tug-of-war; both the parents are overprotective and orthodox so the kid has no choice but being a Doctor or an Engineer; both of the parents not so protective, well in that case the kid has a great choice of going in whichever way he/she likes even if it leads the path of ‘hell’, the most interesting and probably the worst one is one overprotective parent and another not so much; in that case imagine what happens when someone pulls the rope hard and one lets it go completely: exactly, you fall down and it hurts badly. All the time parents think about how they want them to be not what the kids wish to be. Later in life the kid suffers from several consequences, sometimes resulting in suicide. Some of them go astray; some become careless about life or his/her future; some unfortunately get themselves involved in reckless activities and some do exactly what their parents want just to please them without thinking about their own happiness. Now all of this reflects sorrow, pain, anxiety and anger later in their lives. They grow cynical and later when they get married, the same cycle continues; this is ever-ending.

There is possibly one solution and that is to be your own friend; parents might put pressure on you or they might try to mold you into something you are not but  you need to understand it all by yourself that parents are not forever: there’s a big amount of time in life that you have spend without them and you, yourself need to prepare for that. It might get out of hands sometimes, the best way to feel better is to talk; talk to them about how you feel or else they’ll never understand. A tip for all the parents out there: stop comparing your children to others, everyone is unique and if he/she hasn't turned out to be exactly how you wanted then it’s probably your fault, not theirs. The same thing goes for all the kids as well; you might have a bad life compared to a friend of yours but always know that there is someone out there who is in worse position than you; so stop comparing. ‘Every kid is special’ and you need to believe in that, someday you will rise, hard-work never lets anyone down; so be strong and ready to take whatever comes in your way; you will shine.

Excuses

Excuses, we are Kings and Queens of that, now aren’t we? But why do we make up excuses? Is it because we are afraid of the truth? Well, I believe we could not care any less about the truth and we are never intimidated by it, the reason why we hide it is because we are afraid of the people. We are social animals and we cannot live alone all by ourselves so we live in groups and apparently the other group members can talk (Yeah that’s the worst part of being human). So we tend to hide the truth and start making up excuses.

“Do you wanna go out tonight?” “No, I’ve got work” The Truth – I’m insecure about myself and I personally think that I’m not a very friendly person so I might end up embarrassing others including me. “Would you like to dance?” “No I really can’t dance” The Truth – Everyone can dance for God’s sake, it’s just moving hands and feet and I believe I’m quite good at it but you might think I’m silly and a terrible dancer. A few examples of excuses that we make up pretty often and there are others as well. Have you realized that this society has paralyzed you? You cannot even be yourself just because you think too much about what will others say, sweetie others don’t pay your bills, you do. What is the worst thing that you think is gonna happen? They will make fun of you or you’ll be single forever, something like that eh? Lemme tell you, they make fun of you and they’ll continue to do so, you know why? It’s the only way to make them feel good and superior about themselves. Ending up being single forever, how is it so bad? Do you think any less of yourself? If someone cannot accept you the way you are, he/she doesn’t deserve you already and if you’re planning just to land a guy/gal just ‘cause you don’t wanna be alone for the rest of your life then think again do you really wanna settle for that? Don’t you have even a bit of self-respect? If you cannot love yourself enough to spend the whole life with just you then how can you expect someone else to do that? Isn’t that hypocrisy? They say truth hurts but I believe truth doesn’t hurt, it’s possibly the most beautiful thing in this world, the reaction of others towards the truth hurts.

So what is this truth anyway that we are so afraid to tell anyone about? We don’t want to belittle ourselves, we don’t wanna break someone’s heart or we just think that it’s the easier way out? Everyone is special, we all have good and evil both in ourselves. There is good in everybody if we cannot see that then it’s our eyes which are faulty. You think any less of you because you are insecure about yourself then why would anyone do you any favor of thinking any different? You were wrong/have made mistakes/can’t afford a Prada/don’t have a BMW/don’t have a perfect body, well you are not the only one. Be confident about yourself and be proud of who you are. If you have a conscience and the minimum presence of mind to realize what is right and what is wrong in this mankind then you are lucky enough. You are more than lucky to be a part of this wonderful journey. So make it worthy and a memorable one, after all you only get to live once and stop making excuses, be yourself and be honest.

I do realize that it’s going to be a big and probably the most difficult step to take. Now you are this person who is almost anti-social because of the insecurities about your own self and other reasons or this extremely social person because you have so much pain in your heart which you can hide only via interacting with others, even though it doesn’t make any sense, and all of a sudden you decide to become completely honest with yourself as well as with the world, some might consider it to be rude but hey they’ll learn too. I’m not saying to become a cut-throat inhuman, honesty with subtly is the way to go.

So start your day with a Hello to yourself and spread the love with an honest heart.